My current hurdle......

is a most frustrating one.  Over the past three years I have seen a gradual, then all of a sudden decline in my health. I have had shingles, strep throat....tonsillitis, mononucleosis, severe digestive issues,  debilitating migraines, constant sinusitis, h. pylori,  extreme fatigue and malaise.  Many of these symptoms were spread out over the course of a few months to the point of making me have to stop what it is that I'm doing to recover,  then I would become ill every other month, then once a month, then once per week and now I'm lucky if I feel well at lease one to two days per week.

Two years ago I had to made the decision to step down from my long term career to work on my health as it was interfering with my ability to be the best I could be.   This was a big step for me. However, I was able to stay employed by providing business advice to my husband's company.  Unfortunately, due to my illness, I have stepped down from that as well.  See, I'm the type of person that doesn't like to disappoint and if I can't give something my very best then I feel guilty just being able to give what I can.

I have been to several doctors and specialists. When I go is when I feel the worst and I am treated for the symptoms that are present at the time, but no one has yet figure out the real root of my illnesses.  Honestly,  it is not normal to be this ill so frequently. Usually I am the life of the party, fitness enthusiast and hardest working person around.  Lately, I have become someone I don't even know any more.  I am not the mother, wife, family member, friend or professional that I was and still want to be.

I was okay with having to back off of my lifestyle,  but when it has come to the point that I can't even attend my children's activities and events, I am completely crushed.  Being the person that can "handle it all", it's hard to ask for help. This stubborn attitude has caused me to push away many of my friends and even my family.  I was trying to hide how bad I had gotten, but now there is no denying it.  I am very ill, I don't know why, but I am determined to find out.  This has been extremely difficult on our family in many ways. First of all I have always been the larger income earner.  It was one thing to take a decrease in pay, but not to contribute at all while faced with a mound of medical bills, it has become almost impossible to keep up.  My kids just wish they could have their mom back and my husband just wants his wife back.  They are doing what they can,  but it's taking it's toll on them for sure.

I have just gone through another round of tests and will hopefully find some answers by next week.  I am willing to do what ever it takes to become healthy again; that's the only thing I can really concentrate on right now.  I have to let go of everything else and get well, because nothing will improve until I'm healthy.  After I clear this hurdle, I know that there will be one after another in trying to rebuild the rest of my life.  These days I will just have to take one hurdle at a time.  It is a challenge, but one that I will overcome.

#gethealthy #stayingpostive #askingforhelp #illness #family #support

Beautiful Girls - Mind, Body and Spirit: Wanting to make a difference.

Beautiful Girls - Mind, Body and Spirit: Wanting to make a difference.: A few months ago I had an assignment to write about what career I wanted in the future.  I chose psychology.  Some were surprised, but no...

Facing the hurdles of life......

My step daughter has inspired me to to start blogging. It's nothing really new to our family.  My husband has been blogging since 2006, I have previously blogged for difference businesses and she has been blogging since 2009.  Recently, she started another blog, an inspirational blog to help young girls face the challenges that teenage girls face today, it's called Beautiful Girls - Mind, Body and Spirit.  I am seeing her transform right before my eyes.  By reaching out to others she is growing herself. She is telling her story as she is living it.   It's usually only after people have over come or have conquered some great challenge in their life that they share it publicly.  It's not often that you get to share someone journey as they are going through the ups and downs that life has to offer.   I am so very proud of her courage and motivation to help others as she faces her own challenges.

Through out my own life I have faced many hurdles, some that many other face and some that I wish many would never have to face, but know that they have.  I only wish that I had someone like my daughter to turn to when I was her age.   However,  even though at one time I may have regretted  some of my decisions made in my younger years.  I can't think like that today.  My decisions right or wrong have made me the person I am today.  I have learned many things,  mostly the hard way, but no matter how hard or how many challenges I faced I never gave up.

In High School I ran the 110 and 300  hurdles.  I loved the challenge they presented.  It took practice, determination,  timing and strength to  be able to run hurdles.  Sometimes you would successfully clear the hurdle, sometimes you would just graze the top of it with your knee and sometimes you would even fall.  The things about hurdles though is that they are designed to create an obstacle that is a challenge, but not impossibility. Even if you hit the hurdle as your running them, they will give a bit and usually bounce right back into place.  I took some real life lessons from all those hurdles,  the ones I cleared and even the ones that knocked me down.

In life we may be faced with obstacles, it maybe one or several in a row, all; one right after another, or several spaced out over a longer distance. It's our approach to these hurdles that determine if we are able to clear them or not.  It takes the right timing and the right strength to persevere, but with the right amount of determination most challenges in life are just hurdles for us to clear.